Solutions for Successful Aging

Mother's Day

Well, it's official. Time here is 12:30 am on Mother's Day 2009. I didn't think Mom would still be with us for this day, but there she sits, in front of me on the beside comode. She's been there for about an hour now and yep I a tired. Today my daughter sent me a beautiful vase of roses and in just a bit I am going to bring half of them to my mom's room for her. As much as she loves roses, I really don't know if they will bring her much joy. She can't seem to find much to smile about these days as she is so tired of this way of living.

She doesn't feel like getting dressed to leave her room in our home. She is tired of her little area, going from her recliner to beside to the hospital bed and back. She can't hear anymore and that makes talking with her almost impossible. I know that she knows we love her, but I feel so helpless. I can't do anything to make her feel better; although, for just a few minutes she seems to enjoy a foot massage.

Lord, how long will she tarry in this stage of her luekemia. What do you want us to learn from this time together. I have forgiven her for everything that the past held, I have given the past six months of my life almost totally to her care (neglecting grandchildren and hubby a lot). I love her and want to do the best I can, but I am so tired. Yet, as tired as I am, I know that she is so much more tired. Help me show her Your love Lord. Give her some joy for Mother's Day.

Comment by Robyn Blaikie Collins on May 29, 2009 at 3:09am: your out loud prayer is beautiful. i hope it brought comfort and that God gave you a "yes" on this one... it can be exhausting to watch life happen. know that it's good for you to feed yourself, too. you will see a theme among other caregivers, about ways to meet your needs and your mom's needs. listen, be there, but take care of yourself too, find ways to share the tasks and responsibilities. if you are alone in caring, find solace in the other caringsource members that are caring for someone alone. you have made the best steps, by caring and by joining a community of people that get you. forgiveness is healing to the soul, i'm so glad you have had that nourishment. my hope is for your restoration as you serve. thank you for sharing your struggle.

Comment by Ginny on June 7, 2009 at 1:09pm: My heart goes out to Brenda as I read her story. I know you may feel isolated and alone, Brenda, but God is watching over you and your Mom and there are many of us out there who do care and understand. Be sure to take care of yourself and reach out for care helpers and organizations (like Hospice) who are available to you. None of us can do this alone. God bless you for taking care of your Mother.

Comment by Brenda Garland on June 19, 2009 at 8:28pm: Mom went to heaven a little before 6 am on May 27th. I miss her so. My life for 6 months was all about caring for mom. Now I feel like I don't know what to do. I know she was ready, but it is so hard. Caring for her was exhausting, but now, I feel lost. I hope she knew how much she was loved.

Comment by Bryan Ford on June 23, 2009 at 7:16am: I am sure she did and now does even more, Brenda. Your mother's life and your experiences are so valuable to others going through similar situations. When you are ready, please reach out to those who may need your special know-how and encouragement. Write about things you experienced and learned. You never know who you may help. Thank you for sharing with us.

Comment by Brenda Garland on October 3, 2009 at 11:55pm: Well, time is passing, but I still hurt for Mom. She is in Heaven and I wouldn't want to bring her back from that beauty, but oh how I long to talk with her again.

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