Solutions for Successful Aging

Most difficult part

The most difficult part for me is that I can never "fix" her! I can pretty well identify her needs and now I have resources (Yea CaringSource!) to meet those needs...and then I think "OK, she's good now. It's fixed." Before you know it, she has another "need" or crisis. It's exhausting trying to make her world as good as it can be, but it's never good enough. Leaving her behind in the care of "strangers" is so hard.

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ginny on October 1, 2008 at 10:26pm

So sorry, Jeannette, about the loss to your family. But I am so glad you went to the funeral! I agree with Robin in that it took a lot of "courage and required faith that you didn't know you had" to go. What a wonderful confirmation to find your Mother sleeping peacefully when returning from a time away that you feared would end in disaster. I can totally identify with you! And, yes, I am so grateful I can still enjoy times of my mother's wit and humor. Sometimes that far away look in her eyes lightens and I see glimpses of who she really was and is. These times are seasonal now...but I still have them. I see less and less fear in her eyes and face now that she is where she needs to be. I can finally agree with everyone else...this IS in HER best interest. And, as a result...my best interest also.

I'm reading a great book by Yancy called Prayer, Does it make Any Difference. I loved a part where he goes into the verse "Be still and know that I am God." He says the word "still" means to "vacate". In other words..."Stop trying to be god and LET ME BE GOD."

I think we are better caretakers when we share the load and take a little time for ourselves. Even God rested on the seventh day! I'm thrilled and encouraged in my own situation by the gradual steps you are taking and I will keep you in my prayers...