Remembering who they were makes it easier

Sometimes as I look at my mom, I do not even know her anymore. We have not been able to speak for the last three years with any understanding from either party.She cannot really communicate at all.Sometimes I think she is referring to something I might have said. I am never sure one way or the other. I look at her, she does not look like the mom I always had. he looks beyond me, through me, and once in a long while, she may look directly at me. as if she is really trying to pinpoint who I may be. Amused, I think, I wonder what she is really thinking about as she looks at me. Sometimes, I hope and pray that she knows I am with her because she knows my voice. Surely, we do not forget each others voices, do we? I try to stare intently back at her, hoping for a moment she may recognize my eyes, or I will smile at her, hoping she remembers my smile. I then, go back in time. I make myself think of my early years when she was the kindest, sweetest and humble woman I have ever known. She would do anything for me. She was so caring and giving for other people. She would always put herself last, very last. Many times she would not eat because she wanted others to have what was left. She was a dancer. She danced up until her illness about 8 years ago. My memories go back to her in her costumes and on stage having a good time when she was happy and full of life and doing something she had a passion for. She loved to dance. She was a tap dancer. I think of the years she put up with me and the mistakes I made as a daughter. The years I moved away and how it must have broke her heart. I remember the many, many unselfish things she did for myself and the family. This was truly a "selfless person". I remember back when she was raising all of her five children and how she loved children. Seventeen grandchildren. Her life was her family. I remember all of these things when I have a day that I am feeling weary or alittle angry because she cannot remember me and who I am, I count it a joy to have the ability to honor and remember her and to remind myself, she was an awesome mother. A blessing from the Lord as I recount the past 80 years that she devoted to her family and that gives me the energy I need to tend to her needs today.